Birthday Girl

My girl took her first steps. On her first birthday.

Junebug

I spotted this on the way up the street with my daughter. We couldn't stick around to tape it long, because we were on our way to grammie & grampie's, but this Junebug is being attacked by red ants. If I'd had the time and equipment, I could have filmed the Junebug being eaten alive.

It was a present for the family!

One of my cats brought me a present. I think it's amazing, but it's not for those with weak stomaches. IE: I'm the one who'll have to clean it up, as my husband will surely refuse.

teething dream

My daughter is teething, and she's started whimpering in her sleep in the early hours of the morning.
The Result: Mummy has weird dreams.
I had a graphic dream where my daughter opened her mouth, unhinging her jaw like a Hungry Hungry Hippo, and I could see multitudes of little teeth, some just visable beneath raw open gums and some growing from other teeth.

I'm Still Me : An open letter to Today's Parent magazine

My husband's aunt purchased me a subscription to Today's Parent magazine, and I'm about 4 issues in. I have a love/hate relationship with magazines in general. I was a loyal Cosmo reader straight up until they published an article about what you should do if your man isn't receptive to things being stuck up his butt... An Entire Article... and nowhere in the article did it say "Stop trying to put stuff up there", which is what I would have written.
Today's Parent is now the source of my magazine related ire, for the following reasons:

1. Smoothies: Enough with the smoothies, you don't have to mention smoothies in every single issue. It seems almost as if the publishers have some sort of contractual arrangement with The Smoothies Association of Canada, wherein they must sneak at least one mention of smoothies per month.

2. They published an otherwise fine article a few issues ago about a family that plays a different genre of music during dinner, depending on what day of the week it is. Then the Author, the Dad of the family, feels the need to add that he "needs" to let the reader know that just because they listen to reggae, does not mean they (he and his wife) smoke pot. It's implied that the reader would/should otherwise have assumed that this gentleman partakes in (pointlessly) illegal substances, AND that it's somehow the reader's business, and relevant.

3. Tips on how to "make" your kids eat. Dudes...If a kid isn't hungry you should NOT make them eat. Eating when you're not hungry makes your appetite increase and skews your understanding of what constitutes an appropriate serving.

4. In the last issue, they ran an article on phases kids go through. There was a woman described as having an "abiding love for turtlenecks", who's daughter had gone through a goth stage, and later wore dreadlocks and who is now releived that her college age daughter now wears "alot of beige". Mark my fucking words Today's Parent Magazine, If my daughter ever wears "alot of beige" at any point before the age of 40 I will ask her if she's depressed and ask her to seek councelling. Seriously. Beige.

Ultimately what it boils down to is this: Today's Parent is a conservative publication. I'm just not conservative, and I'm not going to turn into the tan-slacks-wearing, minivan-driving, 12-year-old-boy's-haircut-having, force-feeder-of-smoothies that Today's Parent wants me to be.

J'Adore Dior... or not so much

Miss B has a better wardrobe than her Momma thanks to huge sacks of hand me downs from the sister of a friend of mine. I don't buy big fashion labels new, but I am pretty easily impressed if I find them second hand, but often dissapointed:

This is a hand me down, and probably at least 5 years old, but I looked it up and similar suits run $59.99-69.99 new.

For clarification, this is a Baby Dior, but it's 100% polyester, which to me is like a fashion oxymoron.

Also, my mom thinks it's super cute, and I do not.

Here's supermodel Baby B modelling her Christian Dior.

And labels for those skeptical as to the authenticity of a polyester Dior:

Book Review : This is How by M.J. Hyland

Patrick Oxtoby has suffered a mental break, but it sounds like he's been mentally ill for some time. Patrick has just been jilted by his "fiance", his first girlfriend who he had proposed to after only dating 2 months. He stifles an urge to push her down a flight of stairs and decides, instead, that he should just move away.
In the first half of the book literally every conversation is akward. Patrick tries to joke, to flirt or just to partake in the conversation, but as the book is written first person, the narration reveals a methodical reasoning that reminds me of sociopathy.
Patrick's views on women are messed up as well. He fixates on the first two attractive women he meets, and becomes overly protective and posessive over his landlady, and strangely forward, and demanding of a waitress he meets and forges a bond (mostly in his head) with. He describes both women as beautiful, but makes a point of stating that they aren't wearing any makeup.
The day after Patrick arrives, his mother follows him, for some reason upset that her adult son has moved out of her house. She accuses him of leaving in order to hurt her. She fails to pick up any cues as to her unwelcomeness. Patrick stifles an urge to push his mother off a pier, and instead just offends her by bluntly telling her he wants her to leave him alone.
Ian Welkin is one of Patrick's roomates. Welkin comes from a well to do family. He's a charming flirt a drunk and a womanizer. In short Patrick focuses alot of resentment on Welkin, while at the same time rationalizing that he wants Welkin as a friend, more than he doesn't want Welkin as a friend. Theres also sexual tension directed by Welkin on Patrick.

As if you couldn't tell by the foreshadowing, Patrick commits a violent act. He accidentally kills someone. He's sent to prison.
The second half of the book is alot less akwardness. Patrick has a much easier time dealing with his fellow inmates, and even with a creepy guard that wants to help/rape him (he doesn't get raped at this point) Things actually go pretty well until Patrick makes friends with an inmate that wants to be his lover, at which point more powerful inmates threaten to pimp him if he doesn't provide them with money and drugs.
By the end of the book it's evident that Patrick will, once he serves his minimum sentance be in some senses both healed and damaged.

Book Review: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larssen

I was reluctant to pick this novel up and I can't articulate why. Something about Lisbeth Salanders name.
The thing to remember when reading this book is that the author, Stieg Larssen was Swedish, and is dead. These are keys to why the book is the way that it is.

The lead is Michael Blomkvist, a financial journalist, and a compulsive serial man slut. He's on his way to serving a short prison sentence for publishing a story he can't back up in his financial journalism magazine . Because it's Sweden, he's got months before he has to show up to serve his time, and he reluctantly takes a job in a remote village as a family biographer cum private investigator for the Vanger clan.

Blomkvist is largely a snooze. Financial Journalism is awful and boring, and even Blomkvists sexcapades, while mind boggling, are not exactly scintillating.

When the book isn't unnessecarily educating me about the ins and outs of financial journalism, and confusing me about why anybody wants to seduce Michael Blomkvist it's a really really good book.

Lisbeth Salander is a well designed character (even if Photographic Memory isn't an actual thing). The best way to describe her is functionally mentally ill. Because badass though she is, she inspires any number of amateur psychiactric diagnoses.

In the first third of the book, I could hardly wait for anything involving Blomkvist to be over, but after that it got alot more gripping. This is why I say that Larssen's death is important. My understanding is that generally an editor will essentially hack and slash, and send the transcript back to the author a few times for reworking. I put it to you that, as Larssen had passed, passages that would perhaps otherwise have been cut out or scaled down remain.

The result is, a book that could have been superb, is just great.

this is what B thinks of your allergies:

She'll be 6 months old in 9 days. She can pull herself into a standing position, and is getting better at giving hugs everyday.

Fat ol' fatty: day 2

I'm of the opinion that everybody, even if you don't need to lose weight or are at a place where you don't care about your weight, should be doing pilates.

My reasoning behind this is this : after doing just one 20 minute dvd yesterday, the tightness in my lower back went away and I was able to stand up straighter for the rest of the day.


The back pain issue could be endorsement enough, but also consider the following: body fat looks less sloppy when it's resting on top of a more toned muscle. Better posture changes the way body fat is carried as well, and will, again, make body fat look less sloppy.

I'm using a $20(can.) kit made by Bally Total Fitness and sold at Walmart. It comes with a balance ball, stretch band and instructional dvd. You'll probably also want a yoga mat. you need to do this in a room with enough floorspace for you to lie down and spead eagle.

The DVD is grainy and apppears to have been made on an extremely low budget. The instructor is Jaimie Grassi, who is not TV-pretty, but who seems to have designed the workout. Jaimie seems to have been given only one take for each segment, at one point she tries to casually correct herself without drawing notice. The lighting is odd and it seems like flash photography is going on during the filming. Whoever put the segments together has made it cut directly from Jaime saying "and now you can relax" from up on the ball to her in a completely different position down on the floor and seconds away from starting a new exercise.

Production quality aside, it's an accessable dvd, and the workout isn't bad.

In short : I'm a big fat ol' fatty

I'm going to start this out by saying that I've never been skinny, and I never will be. The lowest I've ever weighed in at was 147 pounds when I was 19. I'm 5'5. Most of my adult life I've been between 160 and 170 pounds. However, during the year before I got pregnant I had, through regular light physical activity and improved eating habits gotten my weight down to 150, and had stabilized there.
During my pregnancy 4 things happened :

1. A friend told me I needed to stop exercising, because his wife was told not to exercise while pregnant. It turns out though that his wife had only been told this because she was having a high risk pregnancy.

2. Even though I only had morning sickness 3-4 times, I had terrible heartburn that TUMS did nothing to aid. What did help: Cheetos. For Breakfast. Every day.

3. I slipped and twisted my ankle. twice.

4. in my third trimester I was so tired and lazy that I gave in and let my husband make hotdogs for dinner every night.

The result of these factors is that I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy.
Lest you think I'm currently 200 pounds, and as a reassurance for any expecting moms, you lose about 15 pounds right off the bat. If youre breastfeeding, or pumping, like I was, another 10 is gone in a matter of weeks.

Thats where I paused. I've been at 175 for MONTHS now. My fault though, expecting moms, I haven't been exercising, and I've totally been eating icecream every night.

So now, and with no numeric goal, Here is my plan:

1. Begin Pilates again : Pilates is NOT Cardio, but it does help with back pain, and it does build muscle, which makes cardio more efficient.
2. Eat more fruits and vegetables: The rule ... if youve eaten 7 servings of fruit or vegetables, you can eat whatever you want
3. only eat if/when hungry
4. introduce cardio in a few weeks

So I'll update on this next week

Excuses, Excuses...

I haven't posted in over a month. I didn't mean for it to happen, but here we are. My Husband got laid off so he's been home since Christmas eve. That's part of it. He's vaguely aware that I write here, but I don't want him to read it, which becomes an issue.

Anyway, while I've not been writing anything, I've been doing things that I may write about in the near future:

1. Reading things that are not necessarily Harry Potter, which I'll probably review

2. comitting to paint some new large scale panels for my cousin's wedding.

3. comitting to make 3 sets of bridesmaids jewellery for same cousin's wedding.

4. Decided the time is frankly overdue for me to get back in shape.

Anyway, since my Husband and Baby B are both asleep right now, I'll try to pull an entry out of my ass post-haste!