Monday, December 7, 2009

The B stands for Bonzo

So, Baby B, beleive it or not, is not my daughter's real name. The "B" stands for Bonzo, and her real name starts with an entirely different letter.
My husband and I painstakingly shopped baby girl names. My would-be-godmother-except-I-was-raised-Athiest had just died of cancer, so there wasn't any question as to my daughter's middle name. For her first name there were a few strict rules

1. nothing that could be found on any "10 most popular baby names of 2009" list (Olivia is a lovely name, but there will be at least 2 in my daughters future grade one class of 30 or so)
2. nothing that could be found on any recent popular name list (see above)
3. nothing that would make it sound as if I'd given birth to an elderly woman (ex: Miriam, Ruth)
4. nothing spelled in such a way that it will appear as if my daughter doesn't know how to spell her own name (she has a second cousin who's parents spelled Madelyn as Madylin)
5. No surnames as first names (I just don't like it)

there were also loose guidelines:
1. no "stripper names" (Savannah and Desiree were laughed at, but Lola was considered, and only ultimately shot down because of the song about a tranny named Lola)
2. no names of places we'd never been (ultimately, her name is a place, but it's a place named after a person, as opposed to say, Dakota or Brooklyn)

So her name is the feminized variant on a classic man's name. It's a name that is in songs. It's the name of an eastern european country, an American state, and a British territory in Antarctica.
And yet...
People keep forgetting and calling her Georgina or Georgette. I'd have thought the most annoying thing about her name would be having people ask "Like the State?" or constantly singing Georgia On My Mind when they meet her, or the nickname Peach (Princess Peach being a useless whore.) But I'm actually more annoyed that people think I'd have named my daughter something diminunative, or pretentious.

Georgina, if you break it down, means not Female George, but Little Female George, which to me would be like sentancing her to a life of being condecended to. As for Georgette, I don't know why, but I really do find it pretentious and grating when English speaking people adopt French words and linguistics, this includes the suffix -ette, but also prevented me from saying fiance during my engagement.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

and if it's not your taint its your tisn't

I'd like to propose a new word. A word for the spot north of ones anus. The upper butt crack area, if you will. the part where poo hides when I'm changing a dirty diaper. I think it should be called a tisn't. Is it a taint? no, t'isnt.