My girl took her first steps. On her first birthday.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Junebug
I spotted this on the way up the street with my daughter. We couldn't stick around to tape it long, because we were on our way to grammie & grampie's, but this Junebug is being attacked by red ants. If I'd had the time and equipment, I could have filmed the Junebug being eaten alive.
Friday, June 25, 2010
It was a present for the family!
One of my cats brought me a present. I think it's amazing, but it's not for those with weak stomaches. IE: I'm the one who'll have to clean it up, as my husband will surely refuse.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
teething dream
My daughter is teething, and she's started whimpering in her sleep in the early hours of the morning.
The Result: Mummy has weird dreams.
I had a graphic dream where my daughter opened her mouth, unhinging her jaw like a Hungry Hungry Hippo, and I could see multitudes of little teeth, some just visable beneath raw open gums and some growing from other teeth.
The Result: Mummy has weird dreams.
I had a graphic dream where my daughter opened her mouth, unhinging her jaw like a Hungry Hungry Hippo, and I could see multitudes of little teeth, some just visable beneath raw open gums and some growing from other teeth.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I'm Still Me : An open letter to Today's Parent magazine
My husband's aunt purchased me a subscription to Today's Parent magazine, and I'm about 4 issues in. I have a love/hate relationship with magazines in general. I was a loyal Cosmo reader straight up until they published an article about what you should do if your man isn't receptive to things being stuck up his butt... An Entire Article... and nowhere in the article did it say "Stop trying to put stuff up there", which is what I would have written.
Today's Parent is now the source of my magazine related ire, for the following reasons:
1. Smoothies: Enough with the smoothies, you don't have to mention smoothies in every single issue. It seems almost as if the publishers have some sort of contractual arrangement with The Smoothies Association of Canada, wherein they must sneak at least one mention of smoothies per month.
2. They published an otherwise fine article a few issues ago about a family that plays a different genre of music during dinner, depending on what day of the week it is. Then the Author, the Dad of the family, feels the need to add that he "needs" to let the reader know that just because they listen to reggae, does not mean they (he and his wife) smoke pot. It's implied that the reader would/should otherwise have assumed that this gentleman partakes in (pointlessly) illegal substances, AND that it's somehow the reader's business, and relevant.
3. Tips on how to "make" your kids eat. Dudes...If a kid isn't hungry you should NOT make them eat. Eating when you're not hungry makes your appetite increase and skews your understanding of what constitutes an appropriate serving.
4. In the last issue, they ran an article on phases kids go through. There was a woman described as having an "abiding love for turtlenecks", who's daughter had gone through a goth stage, and later wore dreadlocks and who is now releived that her college age daughter now wears "alot of beige". Mark my fucking words Today's Parent Magazine, If my daughter ever wears "alot of beige" at any point before the age of 40 I will ask her if she's depressed and ask her to seek councelling. Seriously. Beige.
Ultimately what it boils down to is this: Today's Parent is a conservative publication. I'm just not conservative, and I'm not going to turn into the tan-slacks-wearing, minivan-driving, 12-year-old-boy's-haircut-having, force-feeder-of-smoothies that Today's Parent wants me to be.
Today's Parent is now the source of my magazine related ire, for the following reasons:
1. Smoothies: Enough with the smoothies, you don't have to mention smoothies in every single issue. It seems almost as if the publishers have some sort of contractual arrangement with The Smoothies Association of Canada, wherein they must sneak at least one mention of smoothies per month.
2. They published an otherwise fine article a few issues ago about a family that plays a different genre of music during dinner, depending on what day of the week it is. Then the Author, the Dad of the family, feels the need to add that he "needs" to let the reader know that just because they listen to reggae, does not mean they (he and his wife) smoke pot. It's implied that the reader would/should otherwise have assumed that this gentleman partakes in (pointlessly) illegal substances, AND that it's somehow the reader's business, and relevant.
3. Tips on how to "make" your kids eat. Dudes...If a kid isn't hungry you should NOT make them eat. Eating when you're not hungry makes your appetite increase and skews your understanding of what constitutes an appropriate serving.
4. In the last issue, they ran an article on phases kids go through. There was a woman described as having an "abiding love for turtlenecks", who's daughter had gone through a goth stage, and later wore dreadlocks and who is now releived that her college age daughter now wears "alot of beige". Mark my fucking words Today's Parent Magazine, If my daughter ever wears "alot of beige" at any point before the age of 40 I will ask her if she's depressed and ask her to seek councelling. Seriously. Beige.
Ultimately what it boils down to is this: Today's Parent is a conservative publication. I'm just not conservative, and I'm not going to turn into the tan-slacks-wearing, minivan-driving, 12-year-old-boy's-haircut-having, force-feeder-of-smoothies that Today's Parent wants me to be.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
J'Adore Dior... or not so much
Miss B has a better wardrobe than her Momma thanks to huge sacks of hand me downs from the sister of a friend of mine. I don't buy big fashion labels new, but I am pretty easily impressed if I find them second hand, but often dissapointed:
This is a hand me down, and probably at least 5 years old, but I looked it up and similar suits run $59.99-69.99 new.
For clarification, this is a Baby Dior, but it's 100% polyester, which to me is like a fashion oxymoron.
Also, my mom thinks it's super cute, and I do not.
Here's supermodel Baby B modelling her Christian Dior.
And labels for those skeptical as to the authenticity of a polyester Dior:
Monday, February 1, 2010
Book Review : This is How by M.J. Hyland
Patrick Oxtoby has suffered a mental break, but it sounds like he's been mentally ill for some time. Patrick has just been jilted by his "fiance", his first girlfriend who he had proposed to after only dating 2 months. He stifles an urge to push her down a flight of stairs and decides, instead, that he should just move away.
In the first half of the book literally every conversation is akward. Patrick tries to joke, to flirt or just to partake in the conversation, but as the book is written first person, the narration reveals a methodical reasoning that reminds me of sociopathy.
Patrick's views on women are messed up as well. He fixates on the first two attractive women he meets, and becomes overly protective and posessive over his landlady, and strangely forward, and demanding of a waitress he meets and forges a bond (mostly in his head) with. He describes both women as beautiful, but makes a point of stating that they aren't wearing any makeup.
The day after Patrick arrives, his mother follows him, for some reason upset that her adult son has moved out of her house. She accuses him of leaving in order to hurt her. She fails to pick up any cues as to her unwelcomeness. Patrick stifles an urge to push his mother off a pier, and instead just offends her by bluntly telling her he wants her to leave him alone.
Ian Welkin is one of Patrick's roomates. Welkin comes from a well to do family. He's a charming flirt a drunk and a womanizer. In short Patrick focuses alot of resentment on Welkin, while at the same time rationalizing that he wants Welkin as a friend, more than he doesn't want Welkin as a friend. Theres also sexual tension directed by Welkin on Patrick.
As if you couldn't tell by the foreshadowing, Patrick commits a violent act. He accidentally kills someone. He's sent to prison.
The second half of the book is alot less akwardness. Patrick has a much easier time dealing with his fellow inmates, and even with a creepy guard that wants to help/rape him (he doesn't get raped at this point) Things actually go pretty well until Patrick makes friends with an inmate that wants to be his lover, at which point more powerful inmates threaten to pimp him if he doesn't provide them with money and drugs.
By the end of the book it's evident that Patrick will, once he serves his minimum sentance be in some senses both healed and damaged.
In the first half of the book literally every conversation is akward. Patrick tries to joke, to flirt or just to partake in the conversation, but as the book is written first person, the narration reveals a methodical reasoning that reminds me of sociopathy.
Patrick's views on women are messed up as well. He fixates on the first two attractive women he meets, and becomes overly protective and posessive over his landlady, and strangely forward, and demanding of a waitress he meets and forges a bond (mostly in his head) with. He describes both women as beautiful, but makes a point of stating that they aren't wearing any makeup.
The day after Patrick arrives, his mother follows him, for some reason upset that her adult son has moved out of her house. She accuses him of leaving in order to hurt her. She fails to pick up any cues as to her unwelcomeness. Patrick stifles an urge to push his mother off a pier, and instead just offends her by bluntly telling her he wants her to leave him alone.
Ian Welkin is one of Patrick's roomates. Welkin comes from a well to do family. He's a charming flirt a drunk and a womanizer. In short Patrick focuses alot of resentment on Welkin, while at the same time rationalizing that he wants Welkin as a friend, more than he doesn't want Welkin as a friend. Theres also sexual tension directed by Welkin on Patrick.
As if you couldn't tell by the foreshadowing, Patrick commits a violent act. He accidentally kills someone. He's sent to prison.
The second half of the book is alot less akwardness. Patrick has a much easier time dealing with his fellow inmates, and even with a creepy guard that wants to help/rape him (he doesn't get raped at this point) Things actually go pretty well until Patrick makes friends with an inmate that wants to be his lover, at which point more powerful inmates threaten to pimp him if he doesn't provide them with money and drugs.
By the end of the book it's evident that Patrick will, once he serves his minimum sentance be in some senses both healed and damaged.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Book Review: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larssen
I was reluctant to pick this novel up and I can't articulate why. Something about Lisbeth Salanders name.
The thing to remember when reading this book is that the author, Stieg Larssen was Swedish, and is dead. These are keys to why the book is the way that it is.
The lead is Michael Blomkvist, a financial journalist, and a compulsive serial man slut. He's on his way to serving a short prison sentence for publishing a story he can't back up in his financial journalism magazine . Because it's Sweden, he's got months before he has to show up to serve his time, and he reluctantly takes a job in a remote village as a family biographer cum private investigator for the Vanger clan.
Blomkvist is largely a snooze. Financial Journalism is awful and boring, and even Blomkvists sexcapades, while mind boggling, are not exactly scintillating.
When the book isn't unnessecarily educating me about the ins and outs of financial journalism, and confusing me about why anybody wants to seduce Michael Blomkvist it's a really really good book.
Lisbeth Salander is a well designed character (even if Photographic Memory isn't an actual thing). The best way to describe her is functionally mentally ill. Because badass though she is, she inspires any number of amateur psychiactric diagnoses.
In the first third of the book, I could hardly wait for anything involving Blomkvist to be over, but after that it got alot more gripping. This is why I say that Larssen's death is important. My understanding is that generally an editor will essentially hack and slash, and send the transcript back to the author a few times for reworking. I put it to you that, as Larssen had passed, passages that would perhaps otherwise have been cut out or scaled down remain.
The result is, a book that could have been superb, is just great.
The thing to remember when reading this book is that the author, Stieg Larssen was Swedish, and is dead. These are keys to why the book is the way that it is.
The lead is Michael Blomkvist, a financial journalist, and a compulsive serial man slut. He's on his way to serving a short prison sentence for publishing a story he can't back up in his financial journalism magazine . Because it's Sweden, he's got months before he has to show up to serve his time, and he reluctantly takes a job in a remote village as a family biographer cum private investigator for the Vanger clan.
Blomkvist is largely a snooze. Financial Journalism is awful and boring, and even Blomkvists sexcapades, while mind boggling, are not exactly scintillating.
When the book isn't unnessecarily educating me about the ins and outs of financial journalism, and confusing me about why anybody wants to seduce Michael Blomkvist it's a really really good book.
Lisbeth Salander is a well designed character (even if Photographic Memory isn't an actual thing). The best way to describe her is functionally mentally ill. Because badass though she is, she inspires any number of amateur psychiactric diagnoses.
In the first third of the book, I could hardly wait for anything involving Blomkvist to be over, but after that it got alot more gripping. This is why I say that Larssen's death is important. My understanding is that generally an editor will essentially hack and slash, and send the transcript back to the author a few times for reworking. I put it to you that, as Larssen had passed, passages that would perhaps otherwise have been cut out or scaled down remain.
The result is, a book that could have been superb, is just great.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
this is what B thinks of your allergies:
She'll be 6 months old in 9 days. She can pull herself into a standing position, and is getting better at giving hugs everyday.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Fat ol' fatty: day 2
I'm of the opinion that everybody, even if you don't need to lose weight or are at a place where you don't care about your weight, should be doing pilates.
My reasoning behind this is this : after doing just one 20 minute dvd yesterday, the tightness in my lower back went away and I was able to stand up straighter for the rest of the day.
The back pain issue could be endorsement enough, but also consider the following: body fat looks less sloppy when it's resting on top of a more toned muscle. Better posture changes the way body fat is carried as well, and will, again, make body fat look less sloppy.
I'm using a $20(can.) kit made by Bally Total Fitness and sold at Walmart. It comes with a balance ball, stretch band and instructional dvd. You'll probably also want a yoga mat. you need to do this in a room with enough floorspace for you to lie down and spead eagle.
The DVD is grainy and apppears to have been made on an extremely low budget. The instructor is Jaimie Grassi, who is not TV-pretty, but who seems to have designed the workout. Jaimie seems to have been given only one take for each segment, at one point she tries to casually correct herself without drawing notice. The lighting is odd and it seems like flash photography is going on during the filming. Whoever put the segments together has made it cut directly from Jaime saying "and now you can relax" from up on the ball to her in a completely different position down on the floor and seconds away from starting a new exercise.
Production quality aside, it's an accessable dvd, and the workout isn't bad.
My reasoning behind this is this : after doing just one 20 minute dvd yesterday, the tightness in my lower back went away and I was able to stand up straighter for the rest of the day.
The back pain issue could be endorsement enough, but also consider the following: body fat looks less sloppy when it's resting on top of a more toned muscle. Better posture changes the way body fat is carried as well, and will, again, make body fat look less sloppy.
I'm using a $20(can.) kit made by Bally Total Fitness and sold at Walmart. It comes with a balance ball, stretch band and instructional dvd. You'll probably also want a yoga mat. you need to do this in a room with enough floorspace for you to lie down and spead eagle.
The DVD is grainy and apppears to have been made on an extremely low budget. The instructor is Jaimie Grassi, who is not TV-pretty, but who seems to have designed the workout. Jaimie seems to have been given only one take for each segment, at one point she tries to casually correct herself without drawing notice. The lighting is odd and it seems like flash photography is going on during the filming. Whoever put the segments together has made it cut directly from Jaime saying "and now you can relax" from up on the ball to her in a completely different position down on the floor and seconds away from starting a new exercise.
Production quality aside, it's an accessable dvd, and the workout isn't bad.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
In short : I'm a big fat ol' fatty
I'm going to start this out by saying that I've never been skinny, and I never will be. The lowest I've ever weighed in at was 147 pounds when I was 19. I'm 5'5. Most of my adult life I've been between 160 and 170 pounds. However, during the year before I got pregnant I had, through regular light physical activity and improved eating habits gotten my weight down to 150, and had stabilized there.
During my pregnancy 4 things happened :
1. A friend told me I needed to stop exercising, because his wife was told not to exercise while pregnant. It turns out though that his wife had only been told this because she was having a high risk pregnancy.
2. Even though I only had morning sickness 3-4 times, I had terrible heartburn that TUMS did nothing to aid. What did help: Cheetos. For Breakfast. Every day.
3. I slipped and twisted my ankle. twice.
4. in my third trimester I was so tired and lazy that I gave in and let my husband make hotdogs for dinner every night.
The result of these factors is that I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy.
Lest you think I'm currently 200 pounds, and as a reassurance for any expecting moms, you lose about 15 pounds right off the bat. If youre breastfeeding, or pumping, like I was, another 10 is gone in a matter of weeks.
Thats where I paused. I've been at 175 for MONTHS now. My fault though, expecting moms, I haven't been exercising, and I've totally been eating icecream every night.
So now, and with no numeric goal, Here is my plan:
1. Begin Pilates again : Pilates is NOT Cardio, but it does help with back pain, and it does build muscle, which makes cardio more efficient.
2. Eat more fruits and vegetables: The rule ... if youve eaten 7 servings of fruit or vegetables, you can eat whatever you want
3. only eat if/when hungry
4. introduce cardio in a few weeks
So I'll update on this next week
During my pregnancy 4 things happened :
1. A friend told me I needed to stop exercising, because his wife was told not to exercise while pregnant. It turns out though that his wife had only been told this because she was having a high risk pregnancy.
2. Even though I only had morning sickness 3-4 times, I had terrible heartburn that TUMS did nothing to aid. What did help: Cheetos. For Breakfast. Every day.
3. I slipped and twisted my ankle. twice.
4. in my third trimester I was so tired and lazy that I gave in and let my husband make hotdogs for dinner every night.
The result of these factors is that I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy.
Lest you think I'm currently 200 pounds, and as a reassurance for any expecting moms, you lose about 15 pounds right off the bat. If youre breastfeeding, or pumping, like I was, another 10 is gone in a matter of weeks.
Thats where I paused. I've been at 175 for MONTHS now. My fault though, expecting moms, I haven't been exercising, and I've totally been eating icecream every night.
So now, and with no numeric goal, Here is my plan:
1. Begin Pilates again : Pilates is NOT Cardio, but it does help with back pain, and it does build muscle, which makes cardio more efficient.
2. Eat more fruits and vegetables: The rule ... if youve eaten 7 servings of fruit or vegetables, you can eat whatever you want
3. only eat if/when hungry
4. introduce cardio in a few weeks
So I'll update on this next week
Excuses, Excuses...
I haven't posted in over a month. I didn't mean for it to happen, but here we are. My Husband got laid off so he's been home since Christmas eve. That's part of it. He's vaguely aware that I write here, but I don't want him to read it, which becomes an issue.
Anyway, while I've not been writing anything, I've been doing things that I may write about in the near future:
1. Reading things that are not necessarily Harry Potter, which I'll probably review
2. comitting to paint some new large scale panels for my cousin's wedding.
3. comitting to make 3 sets of bridesmaids jewellery for same cousin's wedding.
4. Decided the time is frankly overdue for me to get back in shape.
Anyway, since my Husband and Baby B are both asleep right now, I'll try to pull an entry out of my ass post-haste!
Anyway, while I've not been writing anything, I've been doing things that I may write about in the near future:
1. Reading things that are not necessarily Harry Potter, which I'll probably review
2. comitting to paint some new large scale panels for my cousin's wedding.
3. comitting to make 3 sets of bridesmaids jewellery for same cousin's wedding.
4. Decided the time is frankly overdue for me to get back in shape.
Anyway, since my Husband and Baby B are both asleep right now, I'll try to pull an entry out of my ass post-haste!
Monday, December 7, 2009
The B stands for Bonzo
So, Baby B, beleive it or not, is not my daughter's real name. The "B" stands for Bonzo, and her real name starts with an entirely different letter.
My husband and I painstakingly shopped baby girl names. My would-be-godmother-except-I-was-raised-Athiest had just died of cancer, so there wasn't any question as to my daughter's middle name. For her first name there were a few strict rules
1. nothing that could be found on any "10 most popular baby names of 2009" list (Olivia is a lovely name, but there will be at least 2 in my daughters future grade one class of 30 or so)
2. nothing that could be found on any recent popular name list (see above)
3. nothing that would make it sound as if I'd given birth to an elderly woman (ex: Miriam, Ruth)
4. nothing spelled in such a way that it will appear as if my daughter doesn't know how to spell her own name (she has a second cousin who's parents spelled Madelyn as Madylin)
5. No surnames as first names (I just don't like it)
there were also loose guidelines:
1. no "stripper names" (Savannah and Desiree were laughed at, but Lola was considered, and only ultimately shot down because of the song about a tranny named Lola)
2. no names of places we'd never been (ultimately, her name is a place, but it's a place named after a person, as opposed to say, Dakota or Brooklyn)
So her name is the feminized variant on a classic man's name. It's a name that is in songs. It's the name of an eastern european country, an American state, and a British territory in Antarctica.
And yet...
People keep forgetting and calling her Georgina or Georgette. I'd have thought the most annoying thing about her name would be having people ask "Like the State?" or constantly singing Georgia On My Mind when they meet her, or the nickname Peach (Princess Peach being a useless whore.) But I'm actually more annoyed that people think I'd have named my daughter something diminunative, or pretentious.
Georgina, if you break it down, means not Female George, but Little Female George, which to me would be like sentancing her to a life of being condecended to. As for Georgette, I don't know why, but I really do find it pretentious and grating when English speaking people adopt French words and linguistics, this includes the suffix -ette, but also prevented me from saying fiance during my engagement.
My husband and I painstakingly shopped baby girl names. My would-be-godmother-except-I-was-raised-Athiest had just died of cancer, so there wasn't any question as to my daughter's middle name. For her first name there were a few strict rules
1. nothing that could be found on any "10 most popular baby names of 2009" list (Olivia is a lovely name, but there will be at least 2 in my daughters future grade one class of 30 or so)
2. nothing that could be found on any recent popular name list (see above)
3. nothing that would make it sound as if I'd given birth to an elderly woman (ex: Miriam, Ruth)
4. nothing spelled in such a way that it will appear as if my daughter doesn't know how to spell her own name (she has a second cousin who's parents spelled Madelyn as Madylin)
5. No surnames as first names (I just don't like it)
there were also loose guidelines:
1. no "stripper names" (Savannah and Desiree were laughed at, but Lola was considered, and only ultimately shot down because of the song about a tranny named Lola)
2. no names of places we'd never been (ultimately, her name is a place, but it's a place named after a person, as opposed to say, Dakota or Brooklyn)
So her name is the feminized variant on a classic man's name. It's a name that is in songs. It's the name of an eastern european country, an American state, and a British territory in Antarctica.
And yet...
People keep forgetting and calling her Georgina or Georgette. I'd have thought the most annoying thing about her name would be having people ask "Like the State?" or constantly singing Georgia On My Mind when they meet her, or the nickname Peach (Princess Peach being a useless whore.) But I'm actually more annoyed that people think I'd have named my daughter something diminunative, or pretentious.
Georgina, if you break it down, means not Female George, but Little Female George, which to me would be like sentancing her to a life of being condecended to. As for Georgette, I don't know why, but I really do find it pretentious and grating when English speaking people adopt French words and linguistics, this includes the suffix -ette, but also prevented me from saying fiance during my engagement.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
and if it's not your taint its your tisn't
I'd like to propose a new word. A word for the spot north of ones anus. The upper butt crack area, if you will. the part where poo hides when I'm changing a dirty diaper. I think it should be called a tisn't. Is it a taint? no, t'isnt.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
So, yesterday I sent Baby B off with her great grandparents for the day, and I spent the day cleaning my house, doing art projects and missing her. It was about 8 hours, and was the longest we've ever been apart.
The Great Grands said she was good, and didn't cry that whole time. When she got home, she'd fallen asleep in the car so I took her to bed and took a nap with her. When she woke up, she made sure I was aware of her extreme displeasure and needed to be held for the rest of the evening.
Last night, as a delightful side effect of both our day apart, and I'm sure, the fact that I've been watching the Bad Girls series, I had nightmares about being in prison and having my babies either taken from me, or having them die.
I won't actually need to get used to being apart from Baby B for about 5 years when she starts school, but I was thinking about how if I were American, and unable/undesiring to leave the workforce, my maternity leave would already have ended a whole month ago. This is a psychologically wrenching notion to me. The thought that I'd be relinquishing control over how my child is raised (what if the only Daycare I could afford parks the kids in front of "educational" videos? What if they're so understaffed they can't interact one on one with my baby? What if they teach her to be ashamed of her body and it's functions? What if they re-enforce gender stereotypes (the only princesses in our house carry swords, thanks)) is stomach turning, to say nothing of the timing being right when most babies are just deciding that their Mum is the only gal for them. Baby B. certainly has.
In any case, I really don't need to be apart from my baby. I might let her Great Grands take her for 4 hour stints once in a while, but the 8 hours was a little excessive, at least for the moment.
Anyway, heres the trick she's been doing for the past 4 or so days...
The Great Grands said she was good, and didn't cry that whole time. When she got home, she'd fallen asleep in the car so I took her to bed and took a nap with her. When she woke up, she made sure I was aware of her extreme displeasure and needed to be held for the rest of the evening.
Last night, as a delightful side effect of both our day apart, and I'm sure, the fact that I've been watching the Bad Girls series, I had nightmares about being in prison and having my babies either taken from me, or having them die.
I won't actually need to get used to being apart from Baby B for about 5 years when she starts school, but I was thinking about how if I were American, and unable/undesiring to leave the workforce, my maternity leave would already have ended a whole month ago. This is a psychologically wrenching notion to me. The thought that I'd be relinquishing control over how my child is raised (what if the only Daycare I could afford parks the kids in front of "educational" videos? What if they're so understaffed they can't interact one on one with my baby? What if they teach her to be ashamed of her body and it's functions? What if they re-enforce gender stereotypes (the only princesses in our house carry swords, thanks)) is stomach turning, to say nothing of the timing being right when most babies are just deciding that their Mum is the only gal for them. Baby B. certainly has.
In any case, I really don't need to be apart from my baby. I might let her Great Grands take her for 4 hour stints once in a while, but the 8 hours was a little excessive, at least for the moment.
Anyway, heres the trick she's been doing for the past 4 or so days...
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
like a dropkick to the eyesocket
So, sometimes when I'm on facebook, I click on the photo albums of friends of friends. Usually if it's a baby album I click it, because I get curious about the stupid things people name thier kids, and because as a new mom, I like to see what the other babies my daughter's age look like (mostly they look pretty generic, but once in a while theres one that looks like someone shaved a chimpanzee, or like krang is thier biological father .)
Anyway, I click on an album that one of my cousins had commented on and I got about 3 images past the photo where she'd given her dutiful "oh isn't he precious" when all of a sudden....
BAM!!!...
...Nutsack!!!
Sweet jesus, I thought! This has to be some kind of entrapment senario! I quickly clicked to the next image, trying to distance myself from the extreme closeup crotchshot assault, but alas, like a dropkick to the eyesocket:
BAM!!!...
More Nutsack
BAM!!!...
yet again, more Nutsack!
Shaken, I gathered my wits about me, and managed to think clearly enough to just hit home, but I still feel pretty scarred.
I wonder what would posess a kids parent to take a picture of his junk and publish it to a public album on the internet? Where ANYBODY, not just bitches like me, but real live scary nutjobs can see it? Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't the existance of internet crotch-shots be the kid's decision, when he's 18 or older?
Anyway, I click on an album that one of my cousins had commented on and I got about 3 images past the photo where she'd given her dutiful "oh isn't he precious" when all of a sudden....
BAM!!!...
...Nutsack!!!
Sweet jesus, I thought! This has to be some kind of entrapment senario! I quickly clicked to the next image, trying to distance myself from the extreme closeup crotchshot assault, but alas, like a dropkick to the eyesocket:
BAM!!!...
More Nutsack
BAM!!!...
yet again, more Nutsack!
Shaken, I gathered my wits about me, and managed to think clearly enough to just hit home, but I still feel pretty scarred.
I wonder what would posess a kids parent to take a picture of his junk and publish it to a public album on the internet? Where ANYBODY, not just bitches like me, but real live scary nutjobs can see it? Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't the existance of internet crotch-shots be the kid's decision, when he's 18 or older?
Monday, November 23, 2009
Baby B on her birthday
She was due july 30, and I had an appointment on July 29 in the morning. My husband dropped me off, uncomfortable with the idea of being in the room during a pelvic exam. I'd seen a number of obstetricians, they all shared an office, so they saw each others' patients if, say, one doctor were busy delivering someone elses baby.
Her 4 month birthday is next Monday.
This time instead of my also-pregnant-lady-doc, I was seeing Doctor charming-but-unsettlingly-young. In light of it being only one day ahead of my due date, the doctor announced that he was going to do a "sweep" to "stir things up" and that I'd probably go into labor within the next few days, and that he'd be doing deliveries on the weekend, so he might see me then.
The cramping started as soon as I left the office. I started copying down descriptions and times of my various pangs. I called my mum, I took a long nap, I woke up. I noticed and noted a small gush of warm fluid, noted it and tried to make dinner. We watched "I love you man". My sister-and-then-roomate went out for the night, telling us to call if anything happened. I called telecare and based on the fluid loss a few hours earlier they advised us to head to the hospital, where we arrived around 1130pm. We'd been reluctant to leave too hastily, as our douchebag neighbors were throwing a party, and we'd lose our parking spot if we were sent home again. we were not sent home.
We left my sister a message, but decided not to call anyone until after the birth.
When we arrived, I was considering forgoing drugs, due to my fear of needles. I was offered the use of a jaccuzzi tub, but I couldnt seem to stop shivering. and got out as soon as I thought it would be polite. I almost immediately changed my mind about drugs. Labour felt like debilitating menstrual cramps while having my legs wrenched out of my hip sockets. I was given an IV, and later an epidural, which only effected the right side of my body. This is when I found out I have scoliosis.
The doctors on duty that night happened to be Doctor Pregnant-Lady and Doctor Andy-The -Student. Doctor Preggo supervised Doctor Andy breaking the amniotic sack. It was super reassuring that he needed to be told which end of the medical instument he was supposed to use.
My nurse told me that if at any point, if I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement, to let her know. She said that when this happened, I'd need to bear down into the pressure. Basically, "wait until you feel like taking a shit, and then try really hard to take that shit"
The contractions, and the tearing are nothing to the feeling of the skin around ones vagina being stretched to accomodate an entire human being. at one point I thought Dr. Preggo must be driving her fingernails into me, when she wasn't even touching me. My clitoris was in searing pain.
They offered me a mirror so I could see what was happening which struck me as preposterous. They also asked if I wanted to reach down and feel her head, which I was also not interested in doing.
I'm pretty sure I felt her blink.
I horrendously abused my nurse and doctors, and they told me I was handling things great. And then at 4:20am on her exact due date she was born.
The first thing she did was give Doctor Preggo a dirty look. She was dark tan in color. She weighed 8 pounds 9 ounces. They asked my husband if he wanted to cut the cord, which he declined. The first thing I said to her was "thats ok, you can pee on me..." We noticed that an electrical storm had started.
I called my parents, and told them to wait until visiting hours.
I lost alot of blood. while My husband held Baby B, the nurse was using her hands to squeeze clumps out of my uterus from the outside. Once the epidural had worn off enough to walk, they removed my catheter and let me shower. My body temperature was low. as soon as I stepped out of the shower, I started shaking so hard I could hardly dress myself. I was pushed down to my room, and my husband and Baby B soon followed. As my nurse was heeling on me I can remember remarking that I really felt like I'd been kicked really hard between the legs.
The rest is foggy. I can remember my husband cradling her in his arms, looking tenderly into her eyes and saying "I'm gonna call you Hotdog..."
Day One:
One Month Birthday:
2 month birthday:
3 Month Birthday:
Her 4 month birthday is next Monday.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
-gate-gate
I'm really annoyed today, because I watched the Daily Show, and they showed clips of a news station referring to the apparent "scandal" of US President Obama bowing to the Japanese Emporer as Bow-Gate. How come nobody ever calls journalists out for lazily adding the -gate suffix when referring to every scandal that makes it's way across thier newsdesks? Why is this considered ok?
The fact that news outlets are making a negative out of Obama showing appropriate respect to a foreign dignitary is stupid too obviously
The fact that news outlets are making a negative out of Obama showing appropriate respect to a foreign dignitary is stupid too obviously
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
row of bottles
I used to have a collection of 1/2 pint captain morgan white rum bottles. I kept them on a string like christmas lights over my window. They were mostly empty, but a few contained the following :
1: A rose, purchased for me by my cousin, as a drunken apology for not keeping in touch, turned dehydrated and brown, from my use of said rum bottle as a vase
2: A note from a short latino man with helmet hair who'd tried to make me drink odd smelling liquor after I told him I wasn't interested in sleeping with him. It said "call me" but he later told my best friend I was racist for not putting out.
3: A eulogy for a zygote that probably only existed in my terror stricken imagination. Oddly enough there was never a eulogy for the one that probably did exist later on.
I don't remember whether I boxed the bottles, or whether I threw them away.
1: A rose, purchased for me by my cousin, as a drunken apology for not keeping in touch, turned dehydrated and brown, from my use of said rum bottle as a vase
2: A note from a short latino man with helmet hair who'd tried to make me drink odd smelling liquor after I told him I wasn't interested in sleeping with him. It said "call me" but he later told my best friend I was racist for not putting out.
3: A eulogy for a zygote that probably only existed in my terror stricken imagination. Oddly enough there was never a eulogy for the one that probably did exist later on.
I don't remember whether I boxed the bottles, or whether I threw them away.
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